The "Middle Wife"

Here is a story a friend sent me on how a 2nd Grade student (Std 2 in M'sia.. I think) describes the birth of her baby brother. Her teacher repeats the story...

Take a read:

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch... stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it into school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl Erica who is a very bright and very outgoing kid takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday".

"First mum and dad made him as a symbol of their love. Dad put a seed in my mum's stomach and Luke grew in there. He are for nine months through and umbrella cord". She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

"Then about two Saturdays ago, my mum starts saying and going Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!". Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked around the house for like an hour going Oh, Oh, Oh! My dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my mum to lie down in bed like this". Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.

"And then pop! My mum had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheewww!" This kid had her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!!

"Then the middle wife starts saying Push! Push! and Breathe! Breathe! They started counting but never even got past ten. Then all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from mum's play-centre, so there must be a lot of toys inside there".

Then Erica stood up and took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder just in case another "Middle Wife" comes along....